Grieving after a suicide is complex.
I have experienced a traumatic shock. It takes time to go through that. Then there's the devastation I experience in knowing my loved one will not come in through the door or talk with me over the phone ever again. Everything I experience now is not as it was before. And then there's a time of deep, intense sorrow. I miss my loved one immensely.
And the world moves on...
Sometimes there's anger that others can go on. How dare they? Do they understand what's happened?
And the world moves on...
Sometimes, wanting to help, someone says it's time to get back to normal. Do they understand that nothing is normal anymore? At some point, I will create a brand new normal.
And the world moves on...
Sometimes, concerned about making me sad, someone avoids saying my loved one's name or talking about memories that include them. Aren't they aware that I long to hear my loved one's name. Do they realize I want to know they have not been forgotten?
And the world moves on...
Sometimes I think what if... What if I had said this? What if I had come home earlier? What if I had done something differently. I must go through and ask myself all of these questions. It's necessary for me to work through everything...until I come to the realization that I cannot change what has happened. At some point, after working through all that I need to work through, I will accept that my loved one is no longer physically here with me. My loved one will forever be deep in my heart. I will realize that how they died does not define them. It was one moment in time. How they died has no meaning, unless I choose to make it mean something. It is their entire life that has meaning. At some point, I will realize that I have the choice of moving forward in my life. And that moving forward will not in any way diminish any of my love.
Peace takes courage. I request you start your journey now. You are not alone.
Click here to read, "When the worst has happened."
Suicide claims good people. Click here to find out the enormity of suicide in our world.
Thank you. You are a very brave human being.
Peace and love,
Marie
